Our weekly discussion
explored the impact of our cancer diagnosis on our partners, with a focus on
our relationships, including the support, or lack of it in some instances, that
was received from partners during diagnosis, treatment and beyond.
The experiences of our members
were diverse, with some relationships breaking up because the partner was
unable to cope, and others becoming stronger and closer following the
illness. Some experienced their partners shying away from engaging with the
treatment, others' partners attended every appointment and became carers. Some
of us felt guilty that partners had to take over practical tasks such as
housework or childcare, and expressed their worries for their partner, and that
their illness might make them a burden.
The article Spouse Support Doc outlines the important role supportive partners play in helping their
partners with breast cancer. More than this, irrespective of whether partners
ARE or AREN'T supportive, they also need support and psychological care in
their own right. Not only would this help partners to address their own needs,
but would also help us, because we could be more open about our feelings, and
this in turn fosters healthier relationships.
Those partners who did have
support did a better job at supporting their partners with breast cancer, and
this lowered psychological distress as well as depression for both of them. It
was a challenge to consider how our cancer experience has affected our
partners' emotional wellbeing, because our own needs can feel so overwhelming,
however, the research concludes that partners deal better with the breast
cancer diagnosis if they receive some kind of psychological assistance, even if
it's just a friend or family member to talk to.
The husband of one of our
members has written a book about his experience: you can read it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Coping-Your-Partners-Cancer-Husbands-ebook/dp/B01LXU5WI6
Profits
will be going to charity.
#ResilienceDiscussion
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