Will I survive?
Nobody will answer.
Trusting a plan, like military precision,
When will ‘I’ be able to make a decision?
A Grade, a size, a hospital number,
Doing my time, negotiating the slumber.
Poison the cells, the good and the bad-
Taking me to the brink of mad.
The nausea and vomiting,
There are pills to shake-
My life, this cancer, will not take.
Overloaded with toxins,
My veins cannot cope,
Just see me through-
My lifeline, my hope.
The pain from my head
I cling to my hair,
Falling out in big clumps
Time to lay my soul bare.
I look sick, you prick
I can’t hide anymore,
My whole body is pained
Achy and sore.
Laid up in bed
Missing out on my Son,
Taking all that I have-
I will not say you have won.
You can have my eyelashes
And brows to match,
My sense of taste
Till the next chemo batch.
You can leave my eyes sore
And my nose like a tap,
Give me steroid insomnia
From your toxic zap.
You can push me to the point I can’t take anymore,
But with every ounce in my body-
I won’t close my door.
A mouth cut to shreds
And nails jumping ship,
A sleep deprived mess
So desperate to kip.
My breasts you can keep
They wanted me gone,
My hair I’d like back
But will live with none.
For all that you have taken
My heart has grown stronger,
You must let us live-
Our lives so much longer.
The wounds you can see
In time they will heal,
Was any of this really real?
The wounds you can’t see
Cause all of the strife,
Knock you for six
And hinder life.
Learning to live and love so much more,
One day Cancer, you’ll be out the door.
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