Evidence suggests that around 80% of women experience PTSD at one year post diagnosis of breast cancer.
As a network, our experiences are diverse, including women with primary
breast cancer, recurrence, and secondary breast cancer. Some of us had finished
our active treatment, while some of us were still undergoing treatment for
primary and secondary breast cancer. Many of us shared that we experienced
insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks. Some of us described our
minds going into over-drive and our efforts to manage, as well as feeling
disconnected, or, conversely, highly sensitive. Some of us have been diagnosed
with depression and/or anxiety.
Naz has mentioned us that our amazing brains have evolved to respond in
ways that protect us and aid our survival. So, if our goal is to be vigilant to
a potential threat awaiting us, the emotional neural networks in our brain will
be on high alert, responding continuously, sometimes on over-drive, impacting
on stress hormones such as cortisol. Our cognitive systems in principle help us
to regulate our emotions, but the emotion - cognition network is highly
connected so that in trauma, our cognitive systems take a backseat while the
emotional networks keep firing.
Why does
this happen?
Naz has explained that our emotional networks prepare us for danger
which means our cognitive systems, which have a limited capacity, need to work
harder to help us regulate powerful emotions, such as intense fear.
Almost all of us had vivid memories of our diagnosis and experienced a
range of powerful emotions such as fear and anxiety which continued during our
treatment, for instance, surgery, or emergency admissions during chemotherapy.
Some of us described witnessing deeply distressing scenes while in hospital,
for instance someone witnessed a heart-attack, as well as other breast cancer
patients in various stages of illness or treatment. Our heightened, and
sometimes overwhelming feelings continue, not only during active treatment, but
following it, for instance, when we have scans, or when new symptoms arise
which require investigation. For those of us living with secondary breast cancer,
these intense emotions are ongoing and relentless.
Some of us had experienced trauma prior to our diagnosis of cancer, for
instance neglect in childhood, or abuse. As horrific and distressing as these
experiences are, and especially challenging when they were followed by cancer,
it became clear to us that the experience of trauma in cancer presents unique
challenges: when we think of trauma as a result of war, abuse, a serious
accident or crime, the task facing the individual is to move on in their life
after these terrible events and experiences. However, in cancer, the threat to
our lives comes from within us. We cannot flee from our selves and our body
represents the source of our fear. For many of us, especially, but not solely
those of us living with secondary breast cancer, the threat of recurrence and
progression of disease is ongoing and very real. It is not something we can put
behind us and our survival may depend upon our ability to be vigilant to
symptoms which we need to report to our doctors.
Like it or
not, we continue to take our cancer forward with us.
Very few of us had been able to share our feelings with our loved ones,
partly because we did not want to worry them; because in our gratitude to be
alive, we felt we could not share our contradictory feelings, or we felt under
pressure to 'move on' and 'put cancer behind us.'
According to Naz it is possible to manage and regulate PTSD, but our
brains will not be working with us to eradicate it because of the way they have
evolved to ensure our survival. We can, however, build our cognitive strength
towards resilience. This can then help us to regulate our responses over time,
strengthening connectivity networks in our brains. Naz explained that there is
much scope for understanding and managing PTSD through understanding the
cognitive functions behind our emotions.
In terms of psychological support, some of us reported positive
experiences in terms of accessing psychological support in a timely manner
which was flexible enough to meet our needs. However, most of us felt cast
adrift and either had limited support or we had found sources of support
ourselves. Most of us had not even been told about our potential psychological
vulnerabilities.
What can help?
We shared that counselling, CBT, mindfulness, yoga and in some instances, medication, have all helped. Opportunities to talk and share as a group were invaluable because they both validate and normalize our responses - we could say 'What you too?' and breathe a sigh of relief we are not alone.
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