What does it mean to grow from
trauma?
We tend to associate 'trauma'
with negative and upsetting experiences, but post traumatic growth, which Naz
told us is a relatively new concept in the psychology literature, is about
'growing' in 'positive' ways from the trauma that we have endured, for
instance, re-evaluating our priorities, goals, values, and holding a deep
gratitude and appreciation for life.
As a group, our experiences were
diverse, including many women with primary breast cancer and recurrence as well
as some women with secondary breast cancer. Many of us had finished our active
treatment although some of us were still undergoing treatment for primary and
secondary breast cancer.
Many of us described the way our
lives had changed positively as a result of having breast cancer, for example,
identifying either 'ourselves' or 'our lives' as being 'better', 'richer' and
more meaningful. Others were more cautious, acknowledging both gains and
losses, but overall there was broad agreement that we had discovered a new and
deeper appreciation for simple pleasures we may have taken for granted before
our diagnosis, whether this was delicious meals, the sight of the bright sun,
or dappled light on the forest floor.
Many of us shared that we had
reconnected with our values, for instance perhaps having a greater appreciation
for 'normal life', home and family, whilst others had experienced a shift in
values, perhaps becoming more willing to take risks, be more adventurous and
open themselves up to new experiences, doing new things, perhaps that they had
never before had the courage to do.
We asked ourselves whether our
insights had changed for the better due to the trauma that we had experienced
and whether we now found more meaning in life?
The answers to these questions
were broadly 'yes' - we felt we were kinder, more compassionate, wiser and
empathetic. Some of us described having learned to put ourselves first,
becoming more assertive, more confident and gave examples of setting boundaries
in stressful work environments, or changing and leaving jobs. Some of us had
developed new interests and skills; found ourselves wanting to learn and study
or had found ways to express our creativity, perhaps through writing, painting,
or taking up mindfulness. Friendship and the chance to make new friends was
highlighted as an opportunity for both growth and pleasure.
Stephen Joseph, a Professor of
Psychology at the University of Nottingham, makes this point:
‘Those who try to put their lives
back together exactly as they were, remain fractured and vulnerable. But those
who accept the breakage and build themselves anew become more resilient and
open to new ways of living’.
We thought that this was a
compelling idea, but we also wondered how we can achieve post traumatic growth
- 'build themselves anew' implies having the resources, strength and courage to
put the building blocks together towards resilience to make this happen. Where
do we find these resources from? Could we be placing unrealistic expectations
on ourselves to 'grow' and learn from trauma? Especially when we consider that
one of the conclusions of last week's discussion was that we take our cancer
forward, continuing to live with trauma, our brains are on high alert, vigilant
for signs, symptoms, and we are tired, fatigued, and our cognitive functions
running low on fuel. These issues as well as the ongoing challenges facing our
members with secondary breast cancer is especially pertinent, requiring
considerable efforts and energy to manage.
Naz wondered whether post
traumatic growth might help make our journey easier. Should we develop a
blanket definition that applies to everyone, or can we have our own individual
patterns of growth? It would be a challenge to quantify post traumatic growth -
how can we measure it and its impact on the changes that it brings about in us?
Naz told us that expressive
talking about cancer and related fears has been found to be key in determining
the extent and sustainability of post traumatic growth. She also told us about
other work which has shown that expressive talking about our fears and threats
can boost cognitive function in positive ways, which seems necessary to, as Joseph
puts it, 'build ourselves anew'.
Joseph suggests that we can
nurture our capacity to grow by asking ourselves these questions:
'Are there ways in which my
relationships with family and friends have been strengthened and deepened in
intimacy?
Are there ways in which I have
found a different perspective on life with new opportunities?
Are there things I did to survive what happened that showed me strengths within myself that I didn’t know I had?
Are there ways in which I have
found a greater understanding of life and how to live it?
Are there ways in which I find
myself being more grateful for what I have and for those around me?'
#ResilienceDiscussion
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