I finished treatment 6 years ago but the annual mammogram/check up is a date that never leaves my mind. My check up was cancelled 1 week before it was due - got myself into a right old tizz about it and the fact I was terrified of catching covid as a front line nurse. When I did have my review it was very weird attending on my own - the feeling of aloneness was indescribable. I was lucky - my treatment wasn’t cancelled but I feel that my mental health struggled during the 12 week delay for my review/ check up. Think I would have gone into meltdown had it been delayed further.
Tuesday 6 October 2020
Monday 5 October 2020
Joanne's story: BRiC for Breast Cancer Awareness
Joanne
Sunday 4 October 2020
Lisa's story: BRiC for Breast Cancer Awareness
Friday 2 October 2020
BRiC for Breast Cancer Awareness: Karen's story
Even before the pandemic, my recovery from breast cancer had left me feeling isolated, low. Living alone and without a full-time job, I drew my energy from social meet-ups with friends and family. I filled my diary with fun, with adventures and treats to look forward to. It was how I managed my low mood and loneliness. Then Covid struck and travelling across London for hugs with my mum, coffee with friends or fixes for my escape room and theatre addictions were ruled out. As winter approaches, as the days grow shorter and darker, as new covid restrictions bite and as worries about cancer recurrence niggle, I fear for my mental health as I spend the gloomy winter months alone.
'Breast Cancer Nurses can make all the difference' - BRiC's Collective Voice
A recent Sunday discussion was our Breast Cancer Nurses, our BCN as we know them; our expectations and our experiences with them. For many people the BCN is the first person you talk to after hearing your diagnosis, they immediately become a major part of our lives, from a stranger to someone who knows our most intimate feelings in a matter of moments.
Thursday 1 October 2020
BRiC's October 2020 Project
Sunday 23 August 2020
Imposter Syndrome: Are we ever good enough? BRiC's Collective Voice
Our Sunday discussion, a fascinating topic suggested by Bex, one of our ambassadors - Imposter Syndrome.
Naz opened the discussion with a brief explanation; telling us that when we doubt ourselves, feeling inadequate or incompetent, despite evidence to the contrary, that we may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.
It has been shown that women experience this more than men and even though gender inequalities are gradually decreasing, seemingly strong and successful women often feel inadequate, as if their lives are based in fraud. Michelle Obama referred to imposter syndrome as her weakness.
These feelings can be intensified when we are faced with trauma, such as a breast cancer diagnosis.
Side effects from breast cancer treatment often leave us with problems which add to these feelings, memory loss, brain fog and concentration issues, fatigue and restricted mobility can all leave us feeling less able than our colleagues and friends. Long absences from the workplace may create fear about how we will cope when we return; we might feel we are failing as mothers because our illness prevents us from doing many things, or that we are letting our friends down when we can’t keep up with social engagements.
The trauma of breast cancer can bring back memories of previous difficult experiences, such as childhood events and toxic relationships; these memories can so easily lead us to a belief that everything is somehow our own fault, that we are not worthy of a better life or capable of success. Many of our members talked about doubting their abilities so much more after their diagnosis and treatment, despite holding down jobs, caring for families and leading busy lives. Our self-doubt is contrary to what we actually are, but it raises its ugly head on a regular basis. We worry about making fools of ourselves, about making changes, trying new things or forming new relationships.
We talked about how being compared unfavourably to others compounds these feelings. Many of us recounted incidents from childhood where we had been made to feel less worthy than a sibling or classmate, being told we were no good at something or would never amount to anything. Incidents we had long since forgotten, or locked tightly away in our minds, were brought back into life by our diagnosis and life with cancer. Our group has members with both primary and secondary diagnoses, for members with a secondary diagnosis there were the additional problems of on-going treatment restricting what they can do and of people treating them differently, as if their views were somehow less important because of their cancer. Other members said they almost felt like cancer imposters because they had been able to avoid chemotherapy or radiotherapy and as such felt like they were somehow less of a cancer patient.
There was an underlying belief that the way we are treated by others is somehow a reflection of ourselves, that we don’t deserve any better. “Nothing I ever did was good enough” was a phrase used often, and is a feeling that can stay with us throughout life, affecting everything we do. We talked of waiting to be found out, that our public persona was hiding our incompetence and any moment someone will see us for what we really are. Another common theme was difficulty accepting praise; equally many of us mentioned that criticism hits us hard, bringing to the fore those feelings of incompetence and inadequacy. When criticised we feel that we have been seen for what we really are, that our fraud has been uncovered and we can no longer feign competence.
Some of us have found ways to build our confidence, to give no credence to the opinions others hold of us, to be our own selves and be proud. It is often easier to believe the “bad stuff” about ourselves and we are all learning to also believe the good. We are strong, we are successful, we are perfectly imperfect, we are businesswomen, mothers, partners, teachers, managers, artists, dancers, singers and many, many more things. We make mistakes, but that’s OK, we can learn from them and grow even stronger. We are not inadequate or incompetent and we are supporting each other to build our resilience and fight that imposter.
#BRiCteam
#breastcancer
#impostersyndrome