Thursday, 31 December 2020
Winter lockdown tips: BRiC's Collective Voice
Wednesday, 23 December 2020
What does Quality of Life mean to you? BRiC's Collective Voice
What does quality of life mean to you?
The topic for this Sunday night’s discussion suggested by one of our lovely admin’s, Bal Nanray, focused on the question, ‘What does quality of life mean to you?’ Naz led us into the topic by contexualising this discussion from a research perspective as we explored our thoughts and opinions on the topic:
“In research, quality of life is one of the key outcome measures that is used to assess the psychological well-being of individuals.”
There is a shared understanding that for many of us, quality of life diminishes following a breast cancer diagnosis as we try to navigate our way through surgery and subsequent treatment regimes where long term exposure to cancer treatment affects us physically, emotionally and mentally. Although we have all experienced a breast cancer diagnosis, we know that this affects each of us differently and, in the same way, quality of life means different things to each of us. However, there were many shared views on quality of life that were woven into our discussion.
Many of us felt that quality of life centred on our ability to be physically and mentally well enough to be able to do the things in which we find pleasure. It was noted that often, these are the things that we took for granted prior to our diagnosis of breast cancer, leading to feelings of gratitude for the things that we can do and take joy from. This included a range of things that we enjoy as individuals, including having a level of cognitive functioning and concentration to allow us to read literature. Being able to get outdoors and close to nature rated highly on our list of things that contribute to our quality of life.
For some us of us, hard decisions have had to be made about continuing with breast cancer drug treatment as we have been forced to weigh up the limitations and physical burdens that this poses for our quality of life.
Being able to improve the quality of life for others was another discussion point linked to individuals’ feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. As one of our members expressed, the extent to which she can feel ‘useful, helpful and make a contribution to our local community’ was a really important part of their overall view of quality of life.
Having a dog in the family brings great happiness to several of our members and is another way in which quality of life is enhanced for them. A sense of purpose has a huge impact on our lives, as does being involved in activities that help to contribute to finding inner peace and calm.
For all of us, the COVID pandemic has highlighted the detrimental impact of loss of freedom and choice, both fundamental things that are required to achieve quality of life. Having aspects of our lives severely affected by this virus serves to illustrate that without freedom and choice the quality of our lives is so much less. As women living with and beyond a breast cancer diagnosis, we recognise that it has forced us to look at our lives in microscopic detail. Part of this is cultivating our ability to say ‘no’, to free our time to do things that contribute towards our wellbeing.
The view that quality of life in many ways overrides quantity of life is a strong feeling amongst our group, vocalised in this very safe place that we share. Evermore so following a breast cancer diagnosis, we value our independence and ability to participate in things that we hold dear.
We each have our thoughts and ideas about what quality of life means to us. As is usual in our Sunday night discussions, we have been able to share with one another and explore a hugely important topic. Quality of life is everything. Each of us understands its relevance to our lives.
Thank you to everybody who was able to contribute to our quality of life conversation.
Sunday, 20 December 2020
Our favourite books: BRiC's Collective Voice
Books and books’’ Our Favourites!
Wednesday, 16 December 2020
Three things with positive impact in 2020: BRiC's Collective Voice
“What three things have made a positive impact on you over 2020?”
In our discussion this week, we looked at things which happened or we did over 2020 which has a positive impact on our lives. By introduction, Naz spoke about how depression can be exacerbated by the disparity between where we are and where we want to be. We have spoken in the past about the “positivity coat” we are expected to wear and that this can make us feel we cannot live up to those expectations. This has been a really hard year for all and we accept that we have no control over many of the events of 2020 but we can seek out those diamonds which we call glimmers of hope in our group. Selectively focussing on positive moments whilst not downplaying the negative aspects is very healthy. With this in mind, we asked the question “What three things this year have you done or experienced which resulted in a positive impact”
This was a lively discussion. There were themes which were cancer/health care related, work/education relates and personal/family related. Not surprisingly, very few of us found a cancer diagnosis or treatment a positive experience. Some did however feel grateful for the care they received from the NHS and that their treatment continued despite COVID-19.
Many of our member had positive changes to their employment whether it be returning to work after treatment, new roles, new jobs or even retirement. There was a feeling of satisfaction for some for a job well done. Some reported they had commenced or completed higher qualifications such as PhD or MSC.
By far the greatest impact came from things we did or experienced with family and friends or at home. Many of us saw the time of lock down a chance to spend time with our partners and children and to have more communication with more distant family and friends using online meeting technology. We loved baking (no wonder there was a shortage of flour!), cooking, making jewellery and having time in our gardens - especially with a spell of lovely weather in spring and summer. Some took time to challenge themselves by taking up writing a book or taking on walking or running challenges. New skills were described too - meditation, Reiki or learning a foreign language. Some of us were lucky enough to have taken a short holiday when restrictions allowed. There were small pleasures too - one member was very pleased that her car passed its MOT!
There were joyful events too - new babies in the family, engagement, weddings and new homes.
There was pride in the achievements of our family and friends; our children passed exams, gaining university places. We were full of admiration at how resilient our partners and children are when facing up to the challenges of this year including our cancer. There was also pride in helping out, such as setting up a regular quiz night or volunteering with the NHS.
Finally, we were grateful for the peer support within this group. The support of our members is invaluable.
Thursday, 3 December 2020
Chemotherapy effects and tips: BRiC's Collective Voice
Tuesday, 17 November 2020
Impact of breast cancer on our nearest and dearest: BRiC's Collective Voice
Sunday, 8 November 2020
Coping in Lockdown #2: BRiC's Collective Voice
The topic put forward by Naz for last Sunday night's discussion was: How are we feeling about the new lockdown?
Our responses and feelings varied for a number of reasons, not least of which was related to where we are based in the UK. Some of us who live in Tier 3 areas, and those of us living in areas where very tight restrictions have been in place for several months now, felt that not much was going to change. Some of us felt safer at the prospect of another lockdown, whilst acknowledging and showing compassion for those people, many of our own families included, who’ll experience financial struggles and job losses because of it.
There was a shared sense of sadness and frustration for all kinds of different personal circumstances. Striking a balance between acceptance, that this is happening again, and our understanding of why it’s happening feels hard for many of us. Feelings of apprehension, fear and loneliness are very real as some of us look ahead to the next four weeks with a feeling of gloom, not helped by the time of the year. A shorter and darker day with colder weather is quite different from the lockdown climate that we experienced the first time around.
Overwhelm and struggle was expressed by many of us, as was the need for a period of grieving and adjustment in this second round of lockdown as those living with secondary breast cancer consider the prospect of this virus being around for the whole of the remaining time that we have left. The sense of loss associated with COVID-19 eating into our time and cutting short the time of those whose lives have been taken by the virus was very much felt. Within our group, in the last few months, we’ve experienced tragic personal loss due to family members and loved ones dying from the virus and other conditions. We have barely had the chance to grieve for those who have died during the first lockdown and now we face the challenge of another.
Trying to find a balance between the loss that COVID has created and gratitude for what we still have is challenging. Finding space in our minds to let these “conflicting emotions co-exist” is hard. The Diwali festival in a couple of weeks' time, a 50th milestone birthday at the end of the month and other family birthdays are just some of the special celebrations that will have a very different feel and tone to them because of this lockdown.
Whatever challenges we face in the next few weeks, our shared support for one another will help to ease our feelings of loss, burden and sadness. Ideas for self-care strategies, tips for supporting our wellbeing and things to help bolster our mental resilience helped to make the mood of our discussion a little lighter. Whilst ongoing uncertainty lies ahead we will continue to shine a light for us all in this special space.
Friday, 30 October 2020
The amazing Vicky (late deputy head): BRiC for Breast Cancer Awareness
Tuesday, 27 October 2020
Gina's story: BRiC for Breast Cancer Awareness
I finished radiotherapy just as lockdown started, my oncology check up was a 30 second call to see if I was ok, there was a huge nothing, no support nothing, just news of other cancer patients not getting their chemo or radio this caused a lot of guilt in me, covid has meant not dealing with the emotional impact.
Sunday, 25 October 2020
Debbie: BRiC for Breast Cancer Awareness
Friday, 23 October 2020
Bal's story: BRiC for Breast Cancer Awareness