Day 3 #pathways2resilience ~ Kirsty

Special Feature Edition: Pathways to Resilience: Embracing our Vulnerability, Celebrating our Resilience

Today, as part of #pathways2resilience our month long celebration of women's resilience following a breast cancer diagnosis, we are thrilled to introduce the amazing Kirsty:

"At 33 years old, having to deal with a potentially fatal dose of breast cancer was not part of my ‘plan’. "

Kirsty's blog, highlights her grit, her ability to grow and thrive and offers an inspiring account of how she found, not only that she is a gifted photographer, but also her voice.

Kirsty gives presentations for the charity Coppafeel, a breast cancer awareness charity which aims to educate young people on the signs and symptoms of breast cancer. Kirsty is also campaigning for better choice and range of post-surgery lingerie for women. She's also recently started her own pet photography business.

http://bcresiliencecentre.blogspot.com/2016/04/cancer-gave-me-voice-kirsty.html

#panningforgold #pathways2resilience

#bcresiliencecentre #breastcancerawareness

Day 2 #pathways2resilience ~ Naz

Special Feature Edition: Pathways to Resilience: Embracing our Vulnerability, Celebrating our Resilience

The other side of fear and the road to resilience: The becoming of the Centre for Building Resilience in Breast Cancer

When I was undergoing chemotherapy, I was not thinking of how I would be re-building the life that breast cancer had left me with. Rather, I was thinking of whether I will stay alive to see my daughter Ella, who was only three at the time, grow up and blossom in the many ways I was picturing her. My research, my students, and the history of my pioneering career like a fast train running before my eyes. Too fast for me to relive the moments. Where was this train going? The picture was blur. I stopped looking.

You can consider that the purpose of life is two-fold: to survive and to survive well. Now that I am three and a half years post diagnosis, I ask myself if the two are mutually exclusive. When survival is threatened by an incurable disease can the mind turn to bettering the quality of the uncertain time it has left? It will need much resilience and cognitive efficiency. How can it achieve this when it is exhausted, tortured, and highly vulnerable?

Breast cancer is the biggest cause of malignancy in women worldwide with increasing rates in younger women. In the UK alone, every 10 minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer. Spectacular advancements in medicine enable women to live longer. But, the psychological cost of trauma and treatment related side effects continue to plague the lives of these women with fear of recurrence constituting a major threat to cognitive and emotional health, and rates of anxiety and depression looming high.

October 2, 2015, felt like the right time for me to rise to the challenge. My expertise on building resilience in anxiety and depressive vulnerability was to be extended and applied to a population in most need of it, women with breast cancer. Ladies who continue to thrive in spite of their vulnerability; who continue to work, look after their children and families and contribute to society in fruitful ways.

Today, we celebrate our resilience by embracing our vulnerability one year on. Our funded research continues to prosper findings that are shaping the way for future interventions to improve the quality of life in our lovely ladies. The road is windy and rocky at times but we are on the right path. The road to resilience has no ending, because we are learning how to turn our vulnerability into our strength. We will never break.

Along this path, I met Tamsin and Vicky, the two sisters I had longed for all my life, the deputy heads of our centre, who continue to support and flourish the centre and our private group in unimaginable ways. I met Jenny and Anita, our ambassadors, who bring much insight, guidance and interaction to our group. All our members: you are heart and soul of the centre. And Jess, my PhD student whose research is at the forefront of building resilience in women with breast cancer. I want to tell her, like I tell Ella, that I will be there in person or in spirit to see you rise to the star that you deserve to be.

#panningforgold #pathways2resilience

#bcresiliencecentre #breastcancerawareness

Day 1 #pathways2resilience ~ Launch

Pathways to Resilience: Embracing our Vulnerability, Celebrating our Resilience

All through October, the Centre for Building Resilience in Breast Cancer will be sharing a daily post showcasing the resilience of some of our members. We are absolutely delighted to be able to share the stories of women of all ages, with a primary or secondary diagnosis of breast cancer: these are the stories of our lives, of the psychological vulnerability that we continue to endure and the challenges that we bravely take on, becoming resilient, surviving to the best of our ability, making every day count.

Educated by scientific knowledge and practice into brain function and emotional health, we are all learning ways to turn our vulnerability into strength and flexibility, increasing our efficiency towards a more fulfilled life and they will be talking about their many stunning achievements.

Our members’ stories showcase how they continue to grow from the vulnerability that they take forward. They speak about how change in the face of uncertainty and fear when living with cancer, and the effects of cancer, is possible and how it is possible to attain change for the better, showing that psychological flexibility towards resilience can be achieved. The resilience challenge is tough and sometimes perceived as unattainable due to the vulnerability that breast cancer leaves us with, but it can be practiced. This is our Centre’s aim - to practice resilience while enduring our sensitivity.

Read each of our incredible our members stories to find out how they have each achieved this.

We thank them all for their dedicated efforts and their support of this project.

#panningforgold #pathways2resilience

#bcresiliencecentre #breastcancerawareness

Why Me? - Jackie

When I was first diagnosed with IT, the first emotion I felt was shock followed by lots of crying and obviously the ‘why me?’ question.  I know it’s a cliché, but I did think that IT was definitely something that happened to other people, but when the unbelievable occurred and I found myself in that situation, lots of phrases like ‘that’s unfair’, ‘what have I done to deserve this?’, ‘I shouldn’t have drunk all that wine’, ‘there are far more unhealthy people out there who don’t get IT!’ and other negative thoughts arose.

After the shock, came the rollercoaster of appointments, tests, biopsies and scans which actually did help as there was no time to dwell on IT.  I’m sure most people who are diagnosed with IT would agree that the months of treatment following are actually a blur and it’s only when you reflect on that time that you realise the extent of what you have been through.

I’m now at that stage where I don’t think about IT all the time, only when I have an appointment, when it suddenly pops into my mind for no apparent reason or when I am conscious of the aches and pains caused by my medication.  Even now, I still can’t believe that I had IT.  I feel very lucky in that my body hasn’t changed much at all as I didn’t need a mastectomy so when I look in the mirror, it’s physically still me.  The only difference is my hair which is now white/grey and very short, but apparently that is very on trend at the moment so I don’t mind that at all!

The ‘why me?’ question has now faded and has been replaced with extreme gratitude for the superb medical treatment and care I received and for all the support and love I have had from my fantastic family and friends.

This piece was originally posted on Jackie’s own blog here: http://lifeafterbreastcancer.co.uk/

Weekly Discussion Summary ~ Repression (Avoiding)

In this week's discussion, we thought about repression - or avoiding - as a common way of coping with anxiety and stressful situations.

Naz told us about some work she had previously done to try and understand the brain and physiological mechanisms behind repressive coping, a coping style used by people who believe that they are not anxious, but physiologically, they still may show signs of anxiety, especially in stressful situations.

We thought about how this way of coping can perhaps work for us in the short term, and when we need it on the spot, in a highly threatening encounter for instance, but as a longer term way of coping, might serve us less well and impact negatively on our emotional and physical health.

#ResilienceDiscussion

From Bilateral Mastectomy to Naked Spa! ~ Mandy

On the morning of what should have been a lumpectomy to remove the cancer in my right breast, the words my breast surgeon spoke to me shook my world completely - “Sorry we’ve made a mistake... with the extensive radiotherapy to the chest area you’ve had previously to treat Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a lumpectomy with additional radiotherapy is a risky option. We think you should have a mastectomy.”

What?! Remove my lovely breast(s)! I can’t be hearing this!

The next few days I reeled from this new set of decisions I now had to make. Mastectomy or not? One breast or two? Reconstruction using tissue from my stomach? Implants? Or no reconstruction at all? After the initial shock and terror of looking at photos of women on the Internet who had also gone under the knife (generally older women without reconstruction), plus my typical analytical listing of the pros and cons of each option, it was surprising how quickly my mind moved from a complete and utter feeling of sickness at the thought of losing my breasts to a state where, not only was I ok with it, but I could take the decision to remove both to reduce the 1 in 3 risk in the left breast.

After the surgery, it took a long time for me to feel comfortable with my body again. However much I was thankful to have a nipple-sparing mastectomy, it was still upsetting looking in the mirror and what you see isn’t ‘you’ anymore. With my breasts battered and bruised (particularly after the initial reconstruction fell apart with a post operative infection), to me it made all the wobbly bits in other areas stand out in an ugly way. The hit to my confidence took me by surprise, considering apparently I’ve always had a bit of an ego - or so my partner tells me!

Shortly after surgery

Close to the finalisation of reconstruction

So... four years on, what on earth made me visit a naked spa?! A place where wearing your swimming costume on 6 out of 7 days in a week is actually prohibited?

Well, I’m naturally driven by curiosity and a love of trying anything once. The opportunity was there and when in Rome, or the Netherlands as I am, then why not?! But mostly, oddly I felt the need to challenge myself. To know whether I had grown comfortable enough to bare myself to anyone other than my partner or at never-ending hospital check ups. To know whether I would freak out convinced everyone was staring at my ‘bogus’ breasts.

In the end it was more my British-ness that was challenged. The day before, I was more concerned about the etiquette that one should exhibit on going to the spa - does one go ‘au naturel’ or does one perhaps have a Brazilian? The idea of having a ‘clean as a whistle’ or a ‘landing strip’ or even a ‘martini glass’ Brazilian made me giggle nervously as I cycled towards the spa the next day.

After the first few minutes when the shock of getting naked in mixed changing rooms subsided (yes British people, you heard right - men and women together), it was actually a revitalising and restoring experience. The other spa-goers (I assume mostly Dutch) relaxed naked in pools, saunas and on sun loungers, alone or in couples, or some on a mother-daughter day out. Groups of friends chatted to each other quite naturally in the showers as they rubbed various exfoliation products on to each other’s backs. Me? I enjoyed it quietly, politely averting my eyes as a man swam by me on his back, not wanting to be accused of being a ‘todger watcher’.

But the best bit? Well, it reminded me of how nearly everyone at the spa that day had wobbly bits, or breasts that were not symmetrical, or funny-shaped parts of their body. It reminded me that although my breasts are not the lovely breasts I grew up with, they’re actually pretty damn good. And they will always remain perky - even when I’m in my eighties!

I can’t say that I will ever quite have the confidence I had before my mastectomy, but my visit to the spa reassured me that I have come a long way. And I would encourage all women, whether you’ve had a mastectomy or not to remind yourselves how beautiful you are - even with the wobbly bits. I think we forget sometimes. And for those who are going through breast cancer at the moment and have to make those horrible decisions and undergo surgery, I hope you can take some comfort that it does eventually get better. I share a couple of photos because I found it hard at the time to find many images of women with reconstruction using implants.

I hope through sharing this we can help other women in similar situations. I know I can only speak for myself and I was lucky enough that the nipple-sparing surgery still enabled me to keep some resemblance of what was previously there, but if my experience helps one woman feel slightly better about their future or less scared then I will be happy.

Blog originally posted on HuffPost UK The Blog 4^th July 2016

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/mandy-riches/from-bilateral-mastectomy_b_10735978.html?utm_hp_ref=uk-lifestyle&ir=UK+Lifestyle

Twitter: www.twitter.com/AmandaRiches

Weekly Discussion Summary ~ Emotion Suppression

Have you ever felt that you need to apologise for being negative, sad, angry or just plain awful? Or, maybe you just don't share these feelings with your friends and family?

In our weekly discussion, we've been exploring emotion suppression as a way of coping and thinking about the effects on how we manage our emotions.

"Think positive" can become a mantra for those of us living with cancer. Such a reaction is hardly surprising, given our culture's overriding bias toward positive thinking but although positive emotions important, problems arise when we start believing we must be upbeat all the time. Research shows that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health and trying to suppress them can backfire, and even lessen our sense of contentment.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/negative-emotions-key-well-being/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/between-you-and-me/201509/the-good-and-bad-emotion-regulation-strategies

#ResilienceDiscussion