Would you spend the day with your eyes closed to raise money for the blind? No? Neither would we! Because it’s inappropriate. So how is “brave the shave” allowed to continue in this form..?”
“I hate it. I hate the pity. I hate the idea of it and I don’t know how to get my head round it”
Not all of our discussions are pre-orchestrated. Sometimes a member raises a subject that they need support with and a natural interaction takes off. Sometimes these views need to be heard by the rest of the world.
This one is quite particular but also comes up fairly frequently:
Brave the Shave.
Of the many comments, there were various views; On the plus side, it raises money, which can only be a good thing, right? Some people don’t mind it and for some, not having had chemo, hair loss is not something that has been experienced, so they may not have had the cause to give it much thought. But overwhelmingly, the majority of comments regarding this particular campaign could not have been clearer. Please make it stop!
“When I first found out I was having chemo, my biggest fear was losing my hair. I don’t want anyone to do that deliberately to themselves, it’s such a horrible thing”
“I still freak out seeing people having their heads shaved 14 years after treatment “
For people going through chemo, along with the possibility of other debilitating side effects, the loss of their hair is a very intimate and personal experience. Losing hair in this way can actually be very uncomfortable and you don’t just lose the hair on your head (as if that wasn’t traumatic enough!). Some hair follicles may die permanently – there is no guarantee that your hair will grow back, and if it does it may be a different colour, texture and thickness. That is a lot to cope with.
“I always thought of it as a show of empathy and a fundraising/awareness raising activity but I can now see how, particularly for people who have lost their hair, this isn't a positive thing”
So, here’s where we as a group begin to understand why “Brave the Shave” upsets so many chemo patients. It may not reflect the psychological impact of their suffering; it can be projected as a fun thing to do to raise some cash, when in actual fact it comes very close to mocking their situation. We wouldn’t, say, “Diet for Anorexia”. Of course not, because that would be wildly inappropriate! So why is it deemed ok to continue with something so misguided?
“I hate that they ignore cancer patients in order to raise cash”
Many also feel irritated with the word “brave” when applied to cancer. We are not brave, we simply don’t have a choice - it’s treatment or die, and in some cases, it’s treatment and die anyway. It’s difficult to understand how a charity can alienate a fair proportion of the people it’s trying to support. Maybe “brave the shave” is outdated and it’s time to come up with something new?
Until that happens, before you consider “Braving the Shave” please speak to your nearest chemo patient and ask them what it’s really like and how they honestly feel about it. They might be ok with it, but they could also be very upset and vulnerable, in which case, would you still go ahead with it?
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